


Tales of the Witch and the Widow: Funhouse

by Desert Dragonfly (bookbeachbunny)



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-05
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-30 02:59:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5147807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookbeachbunny/pseuds/Desert%20Dragonfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick Fury sends Natasha and a (not very in control of her powers) Wanda Maximoff to Paris on what should be an easy assignment. Instead they find themselves in the center of a much bigger conspiracy than they could have imagined.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The Tales of the Witch and the Widow: Funhouse  
(Shield Classified)  
Status Level:5  
Date for Publication: 2100

I.

Natasha Romanoff was not a fan of her own reflection. Even now looking out the rain streaked window she could ignore any visions of herself and concentrate on the Eiffel Tower lit up in the dark and rainy night.  
It had been a rough couple of months and she hated to admit how tired she was. Her friends were gone, the old team disbanded and worse. And now here she was in Paris dressed to the nines in a rather lovely green silk number, high heels and her hair done up in a headache inducing bun.  
The bathroom door opened behind her and the young woman burst out and did a little twirl in her gorgeous purple gown.  
“What do you think?”  
“You look good Wanda.”  
“You think the shoes are real?”  
“They don’t fake Loubutins.”  
Natasha had to wonder if Fury had picked these outfits out. He had tried to sell this Paris thing as easy. “A small time weapons dealer whose gotten a big score to make his name.”  
Wanda couldn’t hide her excitement. Oh, she hadn’t actually been big on this mission in the first place. At least not the doing it with Natasha part but she was young and she had been sad and frightened for so long. If a pretty dress and a little bit of make believe made her happy Natasha understood.  
“I’m going to have to try super hard not to get blood on this dress huh?”  
“They’ll torture us if we do.”  
“Really?”  
“No.”  
Be careful what you say to Wanda. Sometimes it’s like walking on eggshells. That’s what Vision had told her anyway although he had made it sound a lot more flowery and important.  
Natasha had a hard time believing anybody needed her to walk on eggshells. She sighed and stretched her back. “No blood on anything after all. We find De Marcus. We get the information and then…”  
“I play with his head.”  
“You do what you need to in order to get what we need. And no playing with anyone else’s head!”  
“Yes, mother.”  
The Hotel De Crillon had just reopened after a long renovation. Wanda had been impressed by it’s beauty although it only took her a day to find it stifling. “I expect Marie Antoinette to burst from the wall paper!”  
“The wall paper?”  
“You never know!”  
The rain had annoyed her to, “Does it ever not rain in Paris?”  
Natasha wanted to ask if the girl ever not complained about something but she bite her tongue.  
With the destruction that Tony and Steve had recently caused it seemed like all the normal bad guys were coming out of the woodwork to ply their trade. They would attend this charity ball full of people who claimed to be saving the world while destroying it with a smile on their faces…They would mingle.  
They would do their thing.  
And hopefully prevent a bad guy from selling a nuclear bomb to the highest bidder. “Easy as pie,” Nick had said. “I believe you guys will work together well and deserve a vacation.”  
Natasha had raised an eyebrow at him, “You think this is a vacation?”  
“It’s Paris.”  
Wanda waited until the elevator door closed before she made a face, “It’s scary to think De Marcus isn’t even the worst guy here tonight.”  
“Tell me about it. Don’t do anything mind-bendy okay?”  
“Mind-bendy?”  
“Not unless absolutely necessary.” Wanda crossed her hands over her chest. The elevator was mirrored so the reflection of both women went on and on. It was something that threw Natasha off. “You know what I mean.”  
“Why do you think they sent the two of us?”  
“We fit in,” Nat said.  
“Really?”  
“In some places more so than others.”

They did turn heads as they walked into the ballroom. Both men and women. A couple of the waiters smiled and made quick beelines for them. Wanda waved them off but Natasha grabbed a drink. She forced a smile on her face and took in faces.  
Wanda didn’t have the best hold of her powers these days without Pietro to balance her out.  
Faces.  
Faces.  
She watched them all run together until they were one roiling cloud of grey and she felt motion sick…  
“Wanda?”  
“This music!”  
It was dreadful. It was supposed to be a sixteen piece orchestra but the music did not match the moneyed atmosphere. The whole room seemed to pound with it and not in a good way. Wanda felt it ricocheting around in her skull.  
Boom.  
Boom.  
“You okay kid?”  
“Don’t call me kid. They could have spared a little bit of money on the entertainment. You see De Marcus?”  
Natasha finished her drink and smoothly replaced it on the tray of a passing server. “I don’t see anyone familiar. Maybe the bad guys went somewhere else tonight.”  
“Maybe they don’t come out in the rain…”  
All of the French doors to the balconies were thrown open despite the rain. Wanda could still see the glittering tower through some of them. The chill of the air didn’t do much to help her head when she caught sight of a woman at the bar staring at the two of them.  
“You know her?”  
A dark-haired woman in a bright red dress was watching them from the bar. She was pretty and rich but there was something about her that seemed out of place. She was making it painfully obvious that she had an interest in Natasha.  
When she turned away from them Nat and Wanda could see a bare back painted with tattoos that you probably wouldn’t see on any one else.  
“Maybe a little mind bendy stuff wouldn’t hurt.”  
Wanda looked around the room. She could play with people’s minds. She could tell you things from objects and sometimes when she had been really strong she could make people do things. She wasn’t strong these days.  
Wanda sighed. “I’m getting a very red wedding feel about this room.”  
“And yet no De Marcus?”  
“No.”  
“Let’s separate,” Natasha finally said. “Maybe we can come at this from who the potential buyer might be. Anything change about the hotel itself?”  
Wanda considered this for a moment. But the bloody music. She made a face and shook her head, “I’m not as sure as I was thanks to this disaster but I don’t think the weapon’s anywhere here.”  
“Fifteen minute round. We’ll meet at the bar.”  
“And if something happens?”  
“I’m sure you’ll do some damage.” As Natasha walked away Wanda caught the woman in the red dress looking at her again. But when she noticed Wanda she nodded her head and raised her drink.  
Wanda ignored her but didn’t turn her back until the woman did.

She made her way to the doors. This whole place was throwing her off. The music. The chatter of the people. Wanda thought there was a sheen about it. There was a false color.  
As she walked through the room she caught a couple of strangers giving her looks. Some quicker than others.  
Some judgmental.  
Some mocking.  
They all looked away quickly.  
They knew.  
Steve would have told her she was being paranoid. That she was letting her imagination and her fears run away with her. At the doors to the balconies she took a deep breath and turned back to face the room. The fresh air and the cold of the rain helped clear her mind. A young man passed by and she could feel his heart pounding.  
“Would you like to dance?”  
“I can see your fear.”  
“Um, okay…”  
He scurried away from her. It was slipping. This masque that was indeed a lie. She forced herself mentally deeper and deeper. She couldn’t get a read on Romanoff any longer.  
Natasha would probably not be thrilled at how badly she was doing but at least she was pushing past the music. A tall blonde trophy wife was staring at her from the nearest bar. When Wanda looked she sensed something strong and strange…  
Pity.  
Oh well, she thought, why not go for it?  
She cocked her head toward the woman and motioned for her to come forward. Without knowing what struck her the woman stood and walked toward her. Wanda smiled at her.  
“What’s your name?”  
“Monica.”  
“Monica.”  
She was in her head. She was afraid of dying. No, no. Of being killed by her or Romanoff.  
“You know who I am?”  
“Yes.”  
“Do you know De Marcus?”  
The woman flinched at that and Wanda flashed on some rather X-rated visions. Mistress? Lover?  
Definitely not the wife.  
“You fear him?”  
“I…”  
“You can’t lie to me.”  
They were attracting even more looks now. Wanda figured she’d have to hurry this mess up. But then she heard a voice in her head that wasn’t her own and wasn’t this woman’s.  
Shield.  
All that’s left.  
Funhouse.  
Funhouse.  
Funhouse.  
Wanda shook her head and tried to get control again. If not she had to push past, “Tell me about the weapon.”  
“What weapon?”  
“Your lover boy. We may just let him walk out of here if you tell us what we want to know.”  
“You shouldn’t have come here.”  
“Tell me about it.”

Wanda felt something sudden and sharp break the connection at that exact moment. Startled with pain shooting through her head she spun around and in the mirrored glass on the wall she saw the woman. There was a familiarness about her. For a minute Wanda thought she was looking at an older version of herself. She had broken the connection.  
She intruded.  
Wanda looked away from the mirrors but couldn’t find the woman in the room. The music had somehow gotten worse.  
She turned back to the mirror. The woman smiled at her. She was pretty in a different way from all the others. Older yes but with long red hair flowing over her shoulders and a demure flowered dress. There was something so natural about her. She looked like she belonged in a vision alright.  
When she smiled her eyes lit up and Wanda had the strange urge to smile back at her.  
Then she opened her mouth in the mirror and Wanda heard the voice in her head, “Duck.”  
She listened immediately and the shot hit the poor Monica square in the chest.  
Released from the mirrored woman Wanda felt Monica’s pain and fear race through her own mind. Monica fell forward just as Wanda managed to catch her and at least help her to the floor.  
At least the band had finally stopped Wanda thought to herself.  
“Help me,” Monica whispered grasping at her arm even as Wanda tried to pull away.  
“I can’t…”  
“Please! Help me…” The woman gripped her arm and looked her in the eyes, “He never had it here. I think he’s lying about it anyway…”  
“Then what was this?”  
Funhouse.  
Funhouse.  
“Monica?”  
“The first stage,” she sputtered out and then she died. Wanda knew there wasn’t time to waste. She could hear an alarm from the hotel and sirens from outside and far beneath the balcony but getting closer every moment.  
That’s when she noticed the waiters- three of them striding across the room toward her. Wanda didn’t have to read their minds to know there’d be trouble. She stood slowly. The one in the middle pulled the gun first.  
“Really?” she asked whipping it away from him.  
The second one who looked like a tiny little brother of the first got off a pretty good shot. Wanda just smiled and sent a bolt of energy threw the air at him. Furious it was probably a little too much because he went flying backward into the heavy old tapestries.  
“Shit!”  
It gave her enough time. The first had been about to move on her again but she kneed him in the chest just like she had been trained. Then when he cried out in pain she dove her heel into his foot and with another equally swift moved broke his nose. The last one didn’t even bother.  
“Don’t hurt me! I have nothing to do with any of this!”  
“Where’s Romanoff?”  
“Who?”  
She just gave him a look. She didn’t need to fuck with his mind in order to realize that he didn’t have a clue what was going on. “I was just supposed to kill you!”  
Wanda reached out mentally and he dropped the weapon, “Good luck with that,” she whispered and then head butted him into oblivion.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha meets a brutal enemy.

From the minute Natasha followed a man that looked like De Marcus through what she thought was a service door she knew she had a problem. The walls were mirrored like every other room in this bloody hotel and she could only see herself as far as it went…  
her   
stinking  
bloody  
reflection  
Romanoff made a face. De Marcus had either slipped out around the corner at the end of the hall or he was hiding among the stacked furniture and boxes. She tried to concentrate but she didn’t even hear footsteps. The noise from the ballroom was muted here but the music was still maddening.  
“De Marcus! I know you’re back there!”  
“Really?”  
But that was Fury’s voice in her head. “After everything that happened you really don’t want to walk away from the game?”  
“I’m always going to be in this game. Besides who else do you have left? Me and a couple of children.”  
At the end of the line it branched out in two different directions. Natasha was tired of playing. She was tired of these moments of freezing up. Now she hurried to the end and right as she was about to turn the corner to the right the woman in the red dress came the other way and grabbed her.  
She slammed Natasha’s head into the wall so hard she saw stars.  
The woman had her by the back of the head and moved to slam her into the floor this time.  
Natasha used her hands to stop it at the last minute and tried to push back but the woman was stronger.   
“Let it go…” she whispered in her ear the weight of her seemingly resting right on Natasha’s back.   
She struggled trying to get more leverage.  
Blood dripped from her nose and dotted the floor. She saw a flash of steel out of the corner of her eyes. Felt the blade of a knife on her back.  
“You the buyer?” Natasha spat out.  
“You don’t really think I’m going to monologue do you?”  
“Just going to kill me? Good for you…”  
She thought she might be able to flip the woman over but she was tired and her mind kept flashing back to things she didn’t want to think about.   
Dead friends.  
Destruction.   
The way people looked at her now. “I was supposed to be a good guy on this team,” she had told Fury. “We all were supposed to be the heroes.”  
“That’s not real life.”  
Natasha felt the weapon on the back of her neck when suddenly something slammed into the woman. She stumbled back off Natasha who flipped around and saw a chair falling out of the sky.  
The Scarlet Witch was all the way at the end of the hallway. Natasha nodded her thanks. Good woman to have around in an emergence. She just had to do her thing…  
But Red Dress actually moved quicker firing two rounds that barely missed Wanda close enough to break her concentration and have her jumping out of the way. Natasha went for her legs but didn’t get a chance. The woman elbowed her in the bloody neck before she could get close.  
What the hell?  
Why was she losing?  
It seemed like she couldn’t even try to fight her. She aimed the gun again and Nat yelled, “Wanda!”  
Luckily the younger woman thought of it and this time the gun went flying. Natasha ran for her again but once again the woman got the better of her grabbing her by the shoulder and twisting her arm back before slamming her into the wall. “Good luck,” she whispered.  
Then she turned away right before Wanda could grab her and raced down the hall and threw herself out of the window. Both women ran after her. They were five flights up not a deadly drop perhaps but one no one should have been able to walk away from…  
She was running away from it.   
“Maybe the dress broke her fall,” Wanda tried. “Do you know her?”  
“I didn’t get a name.”  
“Well, she isn’t the only one trying to kill us,” they were already racing back down the hall. Natasha wiping the blood away from her face the whole while. “You know anything about the Funhouse?”  
“I sincerely hope this wasn’t it.”


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New friends leave a parting gift.

Wanda followed her up the back hallways to the room. They managed to get that far without being attacked so Wanda could almost stop herself from shaking. Right before she entered the room she felt a shiver of her powers but once again her emotions got in the way.  
She was shaky. She was still so shaky… “We have to get out of here.”  
“What? We are!”  
“Nat! Now!”  
“I’ll get our things.”  
Wanda waited in the hallway. Up here they couldn’t hear any of the noise. She couldn’t hear anything. But she could feel it. The madness in the ballroom. The people coming in trying to get control of things.  
The hotel positively crying in…  
Confusion?  
Pain?  
It was trying to tell her something.  
“Natasha!” she ran to the nearest fire alarm and smashed the glass to set it off. Immediately the lights went dark three times and the alarm started blaring through the hotel. There was no other noise on that floor. Wanda could only feel death.  
“Maximoff!”  
Kicked back into gear she raced into the hotel room and stopped dead at the door to the bathroom where she saw Natasha’s shadow. Where she saw something else lying in the claw footed bathtub she had so enjoyed just the night before. One of the best parts of the hotel.  
His mouth was open in shock and he was covered in blood but for just a fleeting second Wanda thought, “How handsome.”  
“It’s De Marcus.”  
She leaned down and touched his arm but almost immediately pulled away.  
“Wanda?”  
There was a feeling of shock. “He didn’t know the person. He still doesn’t know what happened.”  
“He’s dead.”  
But he still didn’t know. Wanda didn’t try to explain that however. “We have to get out of here!”  
She thought of the red-headed woman who had gotten into her head. She thought of the woman in the red dress who had attacked Romanoff. Now De Marcus was dead.  
In their bathroom.  
Without saying a word to each other they gathered up the bags, a single one each, and made for the elevators. You couldn’t really hear the fire alarms in the elevator. Only the strange sound of them almost as though they were part of the music.  
“You would think they would turn this off.”  
“We have to get people out.”  
“Wanda?”  
“We have to get them out.” She could see the bones of the building. She could feel its history. For the first time in as long as she could remember she felt in control of her powers once again. “Quicker.”  
“Clues?”  
“We aren’t going to get them here.”  
The elevator door opened to a lobby packed with people. There was an evacuation underway but Natasha could see what the girl meant by quicker. Despite everything no one was exactly hurrying. She took Wanda’s hand and lead her around the emergency personnel.  
Wanda kept hearing it in her head.  
Funhouse.  
Funhouse.  
At the door Natasha stopped, turned around and fired her weapon into the air three times. The evacuation moved a lot faster after that but Nat and Wanda were only halfway down the street when the bombs went off one at a time until the last which sent them, and everyone else, flying forward in a roar of fire and pain.

*************************

“It wasn’t a complete loss,” Fury said his feet up on the desk. Wanda had the strangest thought that he felt tired. He felt like he was getting overtaken by things and that wasn’t a feeling she liked her boss to have.   
“Really?”  
“No, it was a total disaster. We don’t know whose responsible we can’t identify the woman in the red dress that kicked your ass Romanoff.”  
“She didn’t kick my ass.”  
“That’s beside the point. We have no idea what Funhouse is yet. But I’m sure we’ll figure it out.”  
“Sure boss.”  
“It’s not like the freaks and the loons ever give us a break.”  
“What about the woman Wanda saw?” The air in the room changed. Fury finally looked at her and Wanda cursed the fact that she hadn’t mentioned it herself. “You said you saw some red head. That you thought…”  
“I think I just saw myself,” she gave a nervous laugh. “It’s not like my minds been working right recently.”  
Natasha didn’t believe it for a second but she supposed Fury was willing to let it go, “You two worked well together.”  
“Again, really?”  
“You saved a ton of people in that hotel and you didn’t kill each other. So yes, really.”  
“I sense something coming.”  
Fury held up a file folder with a slick smile, “London.”  
“Viper?” Wanda spit out having no idea where the words have come from.  
“Indeed,” Fury told them. “Some man calling himself the Viper. Claims responsibility for a series of bombings throughout Europe.”  
“I’ve heard of him.”  
“Find him. This guys responsible for a lot of death the last couple of months. Everyone’s trying to fill in the holes now that, you know…”  
“The Avengers are out?”  
“Find him,” Fury repeated to Natasha. “And when you have all the relevant information feel free to take him out.”  
“What about our vacation?”  
“Nows not a good time. But you never know, right? Maybe he’ll lead you to your funhouse.”


End file.
